


a gold-gilded shangri-la

by Rethira



Category: Saiyuki
Genre: M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-22
Updated: 2013-09-22
Packaged: 2017-12-27 07:47:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/976262
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rethira/pseuds/Rethira
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Curses never stop them from heading west, not even if they come with boobs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a gold-gilded shangri-la

**Author's Note:**

> i'm really sorry for writing this. genuinely terribly sorry. if you read this i want you to know how sorry i am. it just happened.

Gojyo spends the afternoon and evening yapping about his tits; there’s a ten minute break when he realises his dick has disappeared, but then he starts feeling himself up again – he mournfully grumbles, “I guess this trade’s pretty even, huh? These things are fucking _amazing_ ,” and that’s when Hakkai says, with one of those bland smiles of his, that he’s pretty sure this is a temporary situation _anyway_ , and Gojyo’s bad mood evaporates like his fucking dick has.

Sanzo smokes another cigarette, reads his paper, and thoroughly neglects to tell Gojyo that despite his new, thankfully modest, cleavage, _his_ dick has remained exactly where it should be. Goku whines that there’s not enough food, _again_ , this time reaching fucking _dog whistle_ noises – along with his chest suddenly sprouting, as Gojyo had said, _mondo fucking melons_ , Goku’s voice has climbed into a higher range. Apart from that, it’s not like Goku’s changed one bit. He’s just been complaining about his boobs getting in the way, completely oblivious to the fact that Gojyo would be _salivating_ over him if he wasn’t _Goku_.

“How do girls _do_ this all day?” Goku whines. Loudly. “My back hurts _so much_.”

Hakkai’s smile becomes slightly more painted on and he says, extremely calmly, “Sanzo, I think I shall be taking Gojyo and Goku out after breakfast, to do some shopping. I’ll need your measurements as well, if you’d be so kind.”

While Gojyo has a meltdown over having to go bra shopping – fucking pervert – Sanzo gives Hakkai a look over the top of his paper. It doesn’t work. It never works. Damn him. Even the Seiten Teisei pauses under Sanzo’s glare, but not Cho Hakkai.

“I shouldn’t want to guess,” Hakkai says, only a little reproachfully.

Gojyo snorts, “Baldy ain’t more than a B cup, Hakkai. Trust me on this.” He makes a vaguely obscene gesture. “Doesn’t have the figure for a great rack anyway.”

Sanzo doesn’t miss the way Gojyo’s eyes flick, briefly, towards Goku. He doesn’t think Hakkai misses it either, not if the way Hakkai’s eye goes very, very cold.

“Do whatever you want,” Sanzo mutters. Gojyo starts in on another spiel about the greatness of his own tits, only broken when Goku steals a meatbun from his plate.

Hakkai drags them out a few minutes later, leaving Sanzo alone with his paper, his cigarettes and the bunch of leering strangers who’ve been listening to Gojyo talk about how amazing his breasts are since they came in.

It only takes twenty minutes for the assholes who’ve been watching them all afternoon to prowl over, and then it only takes Sanzo two minutes and twenty-seven seconds to convince them that, ‘nice tits’ or not, he is _not_ worth it.

“You’re crazy, _bitch_ ,” one of them yelps, just as the plaster next to his head explodes.

“Guess where the next bullet goes, shit for brains?” Sanzo asks – the guy pisses himself running away. No-one says a word when Sanzo sits back down. The waitress nods when he orders another beer – Sanzo thinks it’s only a matter of time before she traipses over and confides that she’s glad _someone_ put those assholes in their place.

When the others come back, Hakkai is smiling pleasantly, Gojyo looks like he’s been run over by herd of wild horses and Goku is hungry again. Business as usual.

“Oh, I see you’ve been redecorating,” Hakkai comments, examining the bullet holes on the far side of the wall.

“I’m _never_ doing that again,” Gojyo announces, collapsing into a chair. “I can’t believe the _monkey_ has fucking double _Ds_.”

“Sanzo, I’m hungry,” Goku complains.

“Shut up _all of you_ ,” Sanzo snarls.

Business as normal, then.

~

Goku snores, even as a girl. It’s different enough to his normal snoring to wake Sanzo up and keep him awake, although it’s soon joined by a rhythmic thumping from next door, and _that’s_ soon joined by grossly familiar moaning. Sanzo bangs on the wall and shouts, “Shut the hell up.” There’s a brief pause in the noise, but when it resumes there’s no noticeable difference in volume.

After a moment or two considering the relative pros and cons of shooting at them through the wall – pro: they’d shut up, he might kill that pervert kappa, cons: he might miss, the inn’s owner would make him pay for a new wall – Sanzo rolls out of bed and finds a cigarette. Smoking doesn’t help him ignore the sounds of Gojyo getting reamed next door, but it gives him something to do. He sits back down on his bed and stares out the window. Full moon.

The monks would say something about bad portents, but fuck that. The only portents in Sanzo’s future were ones he put there himself.

A particularly loud noise – Gojyo shrieking – wakes Goku up; he rolls off his bed and hits the floor with a thump. “Wha- Sanzo?” Goku peers up over the bed, blinking sleepily. When he realises what woke him he makes a face. “He’s such a pervert.”

Sanzo blows out a smoke ring. “Which one?”

Goku’s face goes an amusing shade of red; after a moment, it takes on a somewhat different expression. He joins Sanzo on the bed and asks, “Can we... Sanzo?” He licks his lips and his eyes flick to Sanzo’s sheath, which does exactly _nothing_ to hide the breasts underneath it. Traditional Sanzo robes were never made with women in mind.

Sanzo will deny the hitch in his breath until his dying day. He’ll deny the sudden eagerness that runs through him. He’ll deny ever even thinking about his stupid monkey that way.

Doesn’t change the fact that his dick’s still hard, though.

“You sure?” Sanzo asks. Not like he needs to. Once the monkey’s decided on something, nothing on Heaven or Earth can stand in his way. Especially, Sanzo’s found, if it involves Sanzo.

“Yup,” Goku says anyway, reaching up to kiss Sanzo. This is the same at any rate; Goku still tastes like meatbuns and toothpaste, and he’s just as overeager and enthusiastic as always. His hand clutches at Sanzo’s hair, just clenching – he’s _learnt_ not to pull – and whimpers into Sanzo’s mouth.

Sanzo kisses along Goku’s jaw, murmuring, “Are you wet, Goku?”

Goku trembles; his hands fall to Sanzo’s shoulders, and he arches, pressing his breasts against Sanzo’s. “Y-yeah,” he whimpers, “please, _Sanzo_.”

Sanzo grunts, takes one of Goku’s hands in his and presses it against his breast. “You can touch, monkey.” The _for now_ goes unspoken.

Goku takes to that with all the enthusiasm he ever shows a full plate of food – his face lights up and he pushes Sanzo back on the bed, pawing at Sanzo’s sheath, peeling it off. “Oh wow, _Sanzo_ ,” he breathes, his hands immediately attaching themselves to Sanzo’s breasts. He thumbs one of Sanzo’s nipples, before dipping his head and lapping at the other one.

Sanzo’s breath hitches; he slips his hands under Goku’s sleep-shirt, briefly relieved to find out that Goku’s removed his bra, before reciprocating. Goku’s tits are warm, a little heavy, smooth – there’s a bit of give in them. Goku whines when Sanzo squeezes them, whines louder when Sanzo tweaks his nipples. He lifts his head up, grumbles, “ _Sanzo_ ,” and then leans back down again. When his mouth covers Sanzo’s nipple this time, there’s a touch of teeth with it; his other hand pinches, just hard enough to make Sanzo hiss sharply.

He takes Goku’s chin and roughly hauls him up, hisses, “Keep your teeth to yourself,” before kissing him again. Goku squirms desperately against Sanzo’s front. His thigh drags against Sanzo’s cock and he makes a surprised noise.

“Sanzo?” There’s a thread of uncertainty in his voice.

Sanzo grinds his dick against Goku’s thigh and says, “When did I ever say that my dick went the same way as Gojyo’s?”

Goku makes a desperate sound high in his throat and rocks back on his heels to pull down Sanzo’s jeans. “I gotta see, Sanzo, I gotta,” he says, even as he does so. For a moment he just stares, his mouth open, panting harshly. When he speaks again, it’s strangely raw. “ _Sanzo_ ,” he groans, “oh _Sanzo_.”

“Tch.” Sanzo reaches for Goku. “Don’t just look, idiot.”

Goku goes willingly, sliding over Sanzo again, pressing breast to breast; he straddles Sanzo’s hips, groaning when Sanzo’s dick presses against him. His boxers are soaked. Goku whimpers when Sanzo slips his hand in them, fingers his clit.

Goku _wails_. His fingers dig into Sanzo’s shoulders – there’s a heavy silence in the moments afterwards. Even the creaking from next door silenced. And then Goku says, “Sanzo, _don’t stop_ ,” sounding scandalised.

“Shut the hell up,” Sanzo grumbles, but his finger moves again; Goku almost clear bites through his lip trying to keep quiet, so Sanzo sighs and kisses him again. Goku’s never _quiet_ , but at least he isn’t fucking screaming, unlike _some_ people he could name.

The creaking next door starts up again, _louder_. It’s irritating enough that Sanzo releases Goku’s mouth, turns him over and pushes his boxers down. Goku’s yelp turns into a moan when Sanzo gets his fingers back down there again. He _yowls_ when Sanzo shoves his shirt up and worries his nipple with his teeth – the syllables of Sanzo’s name lost in the rest of Goku’s noises.

“Come on, Goku,” Sanzo says, “come.”

Goku wails again, clawing at the bed sheet. He shakes in time with the movements of Sanzo’s fingers, moaning softly – eventually he shakes his head, whimpers, “Sanzo, Sanzo too much, Sanzo,” and Sanzo slowly sits up. He wipes his fingers roughly on Goku’s thigh.

“Good?” he asks. Goku nods, shifting to sit up. His shirt falls down, covering his breasts again, but Sanzo doesn’t really care. Goku licks his lips and reaches for Sanzo’s cock. Sanzo settles back against the headboard, threads his fingers through Goku’s hair when Goku leans down – he groans when Goku engulfs him. Goku licks and sucks like a _pro_ ; his throat opens when Sanzo thrusts up and he swallows. Sanzo’s fingers tighten in Goku’s hair and he hisses a warning, not that Goku’s ever cared. If anything he sucks _harder_. Sanzo groans when he comes, presses Goku’s head down and thrusts his hips _up_ and Goku just whines and _takes it_.

He licks his lips when he sits up, presses a kiss to Sanzo’s lips and laughs when Sanzo makes a face. “ _I_ think you’re tasty,” Goku asserts – little monkey can’t keep his mind off food even during sex. He squirms again. After a beat he says, “Sucking you off made me....” Goku goes bright red and fiddles with the hem of his shirt.

“Get over here,” Sanzo murmurs, not that it takes much encouragement. He’s barely even said the first word before Goku’s sitting in his lap, wriggling anxiously. Sanzo slides his fingers back between Goku’s legs – he’s still wet from before, and at the first touch of Sanzo’s fingers to his clit he whimpers. Sanzo leans in close, and starts murmuring into Goku’s ear, “Next time I’m going to fuck you like this, Goku, I’m going to get you _so fucking wet_ and you’re going to ride my cock – ride it like you _mean it-_ ”

Goku cries out, back arching while his nails dig into Sanzo’s shoulders – after a moment he collapses against Sanzo’s chest, still shaking with aftershocks.

He goes quiet just in time for Sanzo to hear a moaned, “ _Hakkai_ ,” through the wall.

Sanzo bangs on the wall again and shouts, “Shut up you _perverts_.”

There’s a beat of silence and then, “That’s _rich-_ ” Gojyo starts to say; he cuts off abruptly. Hopefully, Sanzo thinks, because Hakkai’s smothering him.

After a moment, Hakkai says, “Of course, Sanzo.”

Goku snickers and nuzzles Sanzo’s throat. “Can I stay here?”

Sanzo snorts, but doesn’t shove Goku off, so Goku snuggles down next to him, easily falling asleep. He doesn’t wake up even when Sanzo leans past him to get his lighter and the ashtray. After a while, the sounds from next door cease, and Sanzo can _finally_ slip into a light doze.

~

Goku wakes Sanzo up in his typical fashion. “Sanzo? Hey Sanzo? Sanzo, I’m _hungry_.”

Sanzo promptly kicks him out of bed. There’s a light knock at the door only seconds later, and then Hakkai calls, “We’re going down for breakfast,” which at least gets Goku moving. He’s washed and dressed as fast as possible and then out the door and down the stairs as _loudly_ as possible.

When Sanzo does descend, there’s already a loud argument underway over the food. Hakkai greets Sanzo with one of his customary smiles; Gojyo smirks, slowly, and says, “Oh, _Saaanzo_ , wow, _Saaanzo_ , thank god you’re here, _Saaanzo_.” It makes Goku blush, garners them a few incredulous stares, and Gojyo a whack on the head with Sanzo’s fan. “ _Ow_ you shitty monk,” Gojyo grumbles. “Goku not fuck your pussy hard enough?”

Sanzo ignores him, sitting down and opening his paper. Hakkai chuckles and says, “Now now, that’s hardly appropriate conversation for the breakfast table.”

“Unh,” Goku agrees, “‘sides, Sanzo still has his dick anyway.”

“Oh _no way_ ,” Gojyo moans.

“You shits better have used protection,” Sanzo snaps, taking out his gun and it on the table in front of him. He gets out a jar of gun oil as well, and starts to clean it.

Gojyo, apparently at a loss for words, mouths silently. Hakkai laughs pleasantly and says, “Oh yes, Sanzo, of course we did.”

“ _Hakkai_!” Gojyo wails – and _his_ vocal cords must have changed a bit too, if the screech on the end is any indication. Or maybe he just hurt his throat last night. Sanzo makes a face at the thought.

Luckily, more food comes before Gojyo can get started, and Goku steals his gyoza anyway.

~

The youkai attack around midday – one of the makes the mistake at laughing when Gojyo hauls himself out of Jeep and groans about _fucking bra digging into my spine goddamn_. He meets a short, messy end after a brief encounter with Gojyo’s shakujo, but his death isn’t fast enough to stop one of the _other_ youkai from yelling, “Genjo Sanzo’s grown _tits_!”

His head explodes in a manner Sanzo finds _eminently_ satisfying.

“Hey, mine are bigger,” Goku shouts, although by that time most of the youkai are squawking about their dead comrades and are in no mood to be admiring anyone’s _assets_.

Well, for the most part – one particularly foolhardy youkai exclaims, “I’m fucking _those_.” Sanzo’s saved from having to riddle him with bullets (obviously the only reasonable course of action when someone said something like _that_ about _Goku_ ) when Goku extends Nyoi-Bo clear through the guys ribcage.

They barely even break a sweat killing all thirty-odd youkai, although Sanzo notices a certain cruel set to Hakkai’s features; unimpressed by the way that first one had commented on Gojyo’s figure, obviously.

Barely five minutes after they all get back into Jeep, Goku whines, “I’m _hungry_.”

“We’ll stop for lunch soon, Goku,” Hakkai says. “The map said there would be a lake near here, so maybe we can clean some of the blood off too.”

“Good,” Gojyo grumbles, “I think I got brains down my tits.”

Sanzo has his eyes shut, so he can’t see the face Goku’s making, but it’s _definitely_ a disgusted one.

“Ew- hey, don’t take your clothes off while we’re still in the car! I don’t wanna see your stinky kappa boobs!”

Gojyo snorts dismissively. “Shut up, monkey, what would you know? The only tits you’ve seen are _Sanzo-sama’s_ anyway.”

“Y-yeah well! So what! At least _I_ don’t have to worry about him going off with- with some _bar floozy-_ ”

“Oh you little _shit-_ ”

Sanzo moves fluidly; turning in his seat, standing and retrieving his gun all in the same motion. At the click of him cocking it, Gojyo and Goku both fall silent and look towards him. “Be _quiet_.”

Hakkai clears his throat and brings Jeep to a stop. “We’ve arrived,” he points out.

Sanzo _harrumphs_ and climbs out of Jeep – Goku runs past him, apparently eager for his bath. Not like when he was a kid. Two weeks of the monks loudly complaining about how _dirty_ Goku was, piled on top of another week of them complaining about how _impossible_ he was to bathe. Sanzo quashes the pang of guilt he feels at remembering bathing Goku when he was little. Stubs out the memory of Goku, scared and crying and tiny, like he’d stub out a burnt down cigarette.

He has no use for guilt.

Goku whoops and leaps – Gojyo yelps at the splash. His own fault for wandering too close to the water, and he and Goku settle back into their argument while Hakkai sets up a fire.

“Lunch will be ready soon, Sanzo,” Hakkai murmurs.

“Hn,” Sanzo replies, lighting a cigarette and taking a drag.

~

“So,” Gojyo mutters, “think you’ll miss ‘em once they’re gone?”

“Hell no,” Sanzo replies.

“I dunno,” Goku mumbles, “mine were annoying but I liked Sanzo’s!”

“Yes,” Hakkai agrees, “Gojyo’s were quite nice.”

“You’re all perverts,” Sanzo decides.

There are no objections.


End file.
